Review: La Tape

Tape, Recorded
 Pro Dishes with some distinction.
 Con Service that sometimes makes you want to get up and shake someone.

Pay

Per Person €25-27 Shared: three savoury, one sweet, two beers. Gratis: not a sausage.

Find
Website http://www.latape.com/
Access Pretty much step free to the high tables  and booths on the ground floor.


In Short
Hopes. A long-term Malasaña survivor must have something going for it. Mustn't it?
Reality. After 20 years, it's still neither the best nor the worst option going.
First Impressions. Fairly busy, but no sign of a waiter for too long after sitting down.
USP? La Virgen on draft with some classic tapas-type flavours.
The offer in three words. Some tasty options.
Service! Stop start like a leaky water fountain.
Friend friendly? Just about, not a massive selection of V-dishes, though.
Rating for dating. Several ongoing.
Tip? Not tonight.
Change one thing? Service. Organise some.
Revisitability. OK. We might be back in another 20 years.

Compare & Contrast
Similar sensibilities at Bar Amor, but undeniably more polish.

In Pictures
On Google Images

What's the story?
And so to La Tape, a bar I last went to about 20 years ago, which has been through a few regenerations over the years. Tonight on arrival it was busy but not packed, warm but not hot. And it took nearly 10 minutes for a waiter to bring a menu. Not the brightest start, but it gave me a rare chance to feel like I had a superpower. Would things improve once the staff realised we weren't invisible?

When it made it to us, we found there's plenty on the menu for the omnivore to choose from, with influences from multiple continents on show in multiple departments,with Mexico and Japan top of the table. The question is are these food cultures competing or complimenting each other?

Let's kick off with salmon and seaweed, where it's definitely a case of fusion upping the ante. The Nori adds a tasty touch of the rockpool to this tartar in a tortilla. It's a very enjoyable, light kick off with a touch of lime adding pleasing freshness. There's deep fried crunch for texture, although the tortilla doesn't really want your knife to go through it until it softens a little.
La Tape
The fusiony seasoning and flavour combinations continue with carne mechada accompanied by kimchi for acidity, togarishi for heat and coriander because this is fusion food and there's no escape from it. The creamy sauce had some kick thanks to those fusion ingredients, but texture-wise it doesn't serve the stewed meat as well as other sauces might. Still, it's a distinctive and original combination you need to taste to judge.
La Tape
Main two was a simple classic, so you have to get it right. With loin/lomo de vaca we added a side of fries. It appeared exactly al punto, as ordered, but with no hint of a garnish. So, naked meat. Nowhere to hide. The verdict?
La Tape
It was a great steak. Normally we're keen on a pot of chimichurri or salt or similar, and although I think an extra detail or two is important from a detail point of view, the truth is this one didn't need it. It was terrifically flavoured, and every mouthful kept the flavour going throughout, which isn't always the case. The fried potato portion was generous, turning up in a smart frying basket. Points scored as they're clearly handcut not frozen, but why they arrived a dish early - with those tacos - is a mystery to me.
La Tape
Dessert? From a selection of fairly predictable options, cheesecake's rarely going to have us writing songs of joy and hope in its honour. And here we are, with a steady but non-memorable offering. It didn't feel factory made, but hadn't seen a whole lotta love in transit, arriving on a plate all on its lonesome. Nice texture, a touch too much gelatine in the topping made it more like a jelly.

We stuck to beers, with La Virgen's Madrid Lager on draught which is always welcome. Service though is wobbly in the extreme and not a result of being understaffed, but oddly organised. Two staff spent almost the whole evening behind the bar. But almost everyone was sitting at tables.

All in all, you'll do OK. Nothing's going to let you down badly, and on our dishes the fusion factor unquestionably enhanced things. That said, none of our dishes are likely to see us singing from the rooftops. And, of course, you may be on the end of capriciously random service. Around us, some people were attended quickly, others not. At our table things picked up as the evening went on, but getting the bill needed a strategic interjection as the eye contact radar was in sleep mode.

Perhaps all of that's why it took two decades of us to return.

Service ☆☆ Environs ☆☆☆ Food ☆☆☆