Review: Juanchi's Burgers, Malasaña

On those trays.
 Pro Distinctive well cooked offer.
 Con Atmosphere needs work.

Pay

Per Person €18-20 for starter and burger plus two beers.

Find
Website http://juanchisburgers.com/malasana-madrid/
Access Step free entry.


In Short
Hopes. A different burger experience.
Reality. Yep, they've got a new take on things.
First Impressions. Boisterous busy-ness.
USP? Distinctive meat-bun-sauce mix and match offer.
The offer in three words. Tastes of America.
Service! Speedy, but a bit frazzled.
Friend friendly? Various options on the menu.
Rating for dating. Burger bar for dates? Not really, we suspect.
Tip? Small one.
Change one thing? The serving trays. Not sure about them.
Revisitability. Reasonable, as it does have a distinct touch.

Compare & Contrast


In Pictures
On Google Images

What's the story?
The Bilbao burger explosion goes on. There have been frankly deserved casualties, but new ones are never far away from appearing, like beefy budding flowers in the springtime of convenience dining. Juanchis has a vaguely silly name, but gets most of the basics right enough to warrant positive feedback and an open mind to a revisit. Considering some of our experiences, that's nothing to be disappointed by.

Things start off as you'd expect these days, with the usual Venezuelan starter/appetiser suspects - arepas and tequeños. We continued our ongoing informal tequeño tasting tour, trying the treats to take the temperature of tubes of cheese. Done to a T, they were plump. And bloody hot. The dipping sauces were sweet and thin but not spicy or creamy. We're not shouting about them, but not complaining.

The main courses make an instant impact, delivered in boxy trays that look the part, but have me wondering how they wash them between sittings. Can wood go in a dishwasher? New to me if it can, but I'm ready to be informed.

The burgers were, and I confess to being happily surprised after the workmanlike (Captain Subtext: dull) starter, genuinely rather splendid. We ordered one with the inky black brioche, which as ever with food that's turned black when it doesn't need to be, is a bit of a gimmick so not something to write home about in itself (ink...write? No, thought not.). That said, it was nice and fresh, the burger, well done, still had some juiciness to it. The sauces were good. The chips in a metal pot were very generous and tasty. Only the ketchup was oddly awol.
Juanchis Juanchis

Burger 2, the patacón, was a bold experiment that, like many such things, deserves respect for the try, but has to come in with a mixed review. Subbing the bun with tostones is a brave try, but doesn't work terribly well from a practical point of view. You can't slice it with a knife, as it crumbles. You can't pick it up as these are artisan not convenience burgers. So you end up with bits of toston shrapnel accompanying the - again excellent - al punto burger and sauces plus some nice avocado for creaminess. Sweet potato chips combined well with the sauce line-up, but would have been brilliant with a nice creamy chilli and coriander type thing. Which there wasn't. So genuinely good, but not ticking every box it might.

There was only one dessert left in stock and we didn't fancy it. That's not brilliant from a customer or business point of view. A couple of euros' income lost. Fwiw, a visit a few days later revealed a standard, pleasant brownie is on offer.

Another downer on this dinner were logistical details. Mystifyingly, as the afternoon went on, the room became warmer and warmer. The number of customers stayed consistent, but by bill time we were verging on uncomfortable. Easier to explain were the sky-high noise levels, meaning we were almost shouting at each other. Create a restaurant in Spain in a cement-lined room without partitions and virtually no sound deadening surfaces - ceiling and floor included - and the result is a giant echo chamber full of people yelling at each other. Mostly they're yelling about how bloody loud it is with everyone else shouting at each other. About how bloody noisy it is. And so the circle of life perpetuates.

So we agreed VERY LOUDLY that the selection of sauces on the table isn't bad, but it's visually very dull. Like a symphony in shades of beige on a paint chart. Give us some creamy chilly or coriander green to add freshness to the presentation. And drop the curry mayonnaise. It doesn't really go with burgers or fries. Now, chilli or bacon jam on the other hand...

But look, the fact the burgers make us think about going back is no small thing, so pop in and see what you think.