Emperor, your changing room.
Pro We liked the light airy space and huge windows.
Con It's all about appropriation not emulation.
Pay
€€€
Per Person Two beers, shared starter & dessert. Main. €22-€25 with a 50% food discount via El Tenedor. It'd be around €35 otherwise. Gratis: Ho, ho, ho, hollowly.
In Short
Hopes. Lunch, without disappointment.
Reality. Epic fail is an understatement.
First Impressions. Bricks, tiles and pinkness.
USP? It's all in the name. All. There's nothing else.
The offer in three words. Don't be fooled.
Service! Efficient, but uninterested.
Friend friendly? Mostly meat and fish, token V-dishes.
Rating for dating. If you're both shallow and superficial, you'll feel at home.
Tip? Not on your nelly.
Change one thing? It's shouldn't all be about the money, money, money.
Revisitability. Zero.
Compare & Contrast
Go to Albur.
In Pictures
Time travel to the original On Google Images, then fast forward to Version 2.0.
What's the story?
We simply can't recommend El Palentino. We had a reasonably cooked lunch, but too many details let the experience down.
What happens when a business buys up a famous name and keeps it going? Is it like a new actor putting their stamp on an iconic part? Is it Craig as Bond? Bale as the Bat? It can happen, but this act is just poor cosplay. And the get-up in question would suit a hubristic emperor intent on parading. Don't have high expectations. Don't have any at all. This is a disappointment made worse by the fact it's not a surprising one.
The omens weren't good. Both our main course choices were, inexplicably, already unavailable at 2pm. Why was one of them still on the specials list? Hmmm. To the starter. Rabas de calamar were thinner than they should be and well-cooked. Only one small issue. They were thin because they were Calamares a la Romana. Did someone think we'd not spot that? A reasonable portion size, they came with a garlic mayonnaise, but no lemon. The mayo was way too strong and adding it to finger food? Well, call the result Buffet, the vampire slayer.
With those preferred mains - FYI, the Galician entraña and dados de ternera de Avila - MIA, it was plan B. B for Burger. The Palentino was an impressive stack. Mind you, the small potato wedge Jenga looked like we'd not get much game play in. The mayo made another appearance, but that was it for sauces. Sans ketchup, sans mustard, sans surprises. The burger was well cooked though, with tasty bacon and egg offering some good cream and salt contrasts.
Ternera a la brasa was a decent entrecote, medium-rare, diced. How different this was to that unavailable dados de ternera is a mystery that'll never be solved. Also in the Unexplained File is why two entirely different fried potatoes are on offer when one of them is fine and the other rubbish. The wedges with the burger were tasty and well cooked. The chips with the dice were pale, hard and at least five minutes away from being ready. I simply don't believe a chef wouldn't know that, so I guess they just had to get them out, ready or not. I don't send food back. I should have done. That's the whole thing, by the way, in my dodgy photo on the right. Steak and chips. The absence of any attempt at garnish or visual detail is bewildering and telling.
That story of superficiality continued with the final chapter. A multi-layered dulce de leche cake needed more tangy stuff, but was a generous sharing portion. But how do you make a cake look like it's been shovelled onto a plate as fast as possible? Shovelling it on to a plate as fast as possible will do it. And add...nothing. Nothing. I mean look at it. Had they even run out of icing sugar? Nice dish, though.
Service was efficient, but ill-informed on wine availability, and with the cheapest vino at €17 a bottle that's not smart. By the way, whatever happened to house wine? Is it not a thing anymore? More service wobbliness: apertif snacks for bar customers, but not for diners. I'd issue a hollow laugh if you asked about the offer of traditional Madrid chupitos afterwards.
Unlike many, I've got no history with El Palentino that was. I never went to the celebrated stainless steel bar, chipped formica table and scuffed caña glass version. But I did see this iteration shamelessly trying to appropriate its memory, with photos of the late owner and other decorative touches. But Palentino 2.0 is really a wannabe tourist spot, trading on a dead bar's name and waiting - hoping - for the rush to happen, to exploit that past. But there's no love, no care, no enthusiasm. Look at the food. The people in charge clearly - visibly - aren't invested emotionally in it, so by extension I don't think they're fussed for the customers either.
Our experience makes me think the rush may never come. A 50% discount for Sunday lunch? Really? There's a reason for that and I don't think it's the kind of warm, generous one that earns places the reputation that sees the owner`s passing mourned around a barrio.
I think it's because we're not the first customers to conclude a food lover would never run a place like that, like this.
Pro We liked the light airy space and huge windows.
Con It's all about appropriation not emulation.
Pay
€€€
Per Person Two beers, shared starter & dessert. Main. €22-€25 with a 50% food discount via El Tenedor. It'd be around €35 otherwise. Gratis: Ho, ho, ho, hollowly.
In Short
Hopes. Lunch, without disappointment.
Reality. Epic fail is an understatement.
First Impressions. Bricks, tiles and pinkness.
USP? It's all in the name. All. There's nothing else.
The offer in three words. Don't be fooled.
Service! Efficient, but uninterested.
Friend friendly? Mostly meat and fish, token V-dishes.
Rating for dating. If you're both shallow and superficial, you'll feel at home.
Tip? Not on your nelly.
Change one thing? It's shouldn't all be about the money, money, money.
Revisitability. Zero.
Compare & Contrast
Go to Albur.
In Pictures
Time travel to the original On Google Images, then fast forward to Version 2.0.
What's the story?
We simply can't recommend El Palentino. We had a reasonably cooked lunch, but too many details let the experience down.
What happens when a business buys up a famous name and keeps it going? Is it like a new actor putting their stamp on an iconic part? Is it Craig as Bond? Bale as the Bat? It can happen, but this act is just poor cosplay. And the get-up in question would suit a hubristic emperor intent on parading. Don't have high expectations. Don't have any at all. This is a disappointment made worse by the fact it's not a surprising one.
The omens weren't good. Both our main course choices were, inexplicably, already unavailable at 2pm. Why was one of them still on the specials list? Hmmm. To the starter. Rabas de calamar were thinner than they should be and well-cooked. Only one small issue. They were thin because they were Calamares a la Romana. Did someone think we'd not spot that? A reasonable portion size, they came with a garlic mayonnaise, but no lemon. The mayo was way too strong and adding it to finger food? Well, call the result Buffet, the vampire slayer.
Service was efficient, but ill-informed on wine availability, and with the cheapest vino at €17 a bottle that's not smart. By the way, whatever happened to house wine? Is it not a thing anymore? More service wobbliness: apertif snacks for bar customers, but not for diners. I'd issue a hollow laugh if you asked about the offer of traditional Madrid chupitos afterwards.
Unlike many, I've got no history with El Palentino that was. I never went to the celebrated stainless steel bar, chipped formica table and scuffed caña glass version. But I did see this iteration shamelessly trying to appropriate its memory, with photos of the late owner and other decorative touches. But Palentino 2.0 is really a wannabe tourist spot, trading on a dead bar's name and waiting - hoping - for the rush to happen, to exploit that past. But there's no love, no care, no enthusiasm. Look at the food. The people in charge clearly - visibly - aren't invested emotionally in it, so by extension I don't think they're fussed for the customers either.
I think it's because we're not the first customers to conclude a food lover would never run a place like that, like this.