There and Back Again
Basics
Location
On the net
Per Person
Coffee and a piece of cake to share €3-4
In Short
B and HK took a trip. The verdict?
Hopes?
B See how the other half get their java jive.
H A nice cup of coffee.
Reality?
B Decent drink, compact cake.
H Mild backache.
First Impressions?
B A nice hubbub - in Spanish!
H Busy, small, plenty of round specs.
USP?
B The usual caffeine suspects in a post-industrial setting.
H The novelty of good coffee is still wearing off.
The food in three words?
B Not that big.
H Too small.
Can they get the staff?
B Plenty of people on hand.
H Initially confusing as to whether there was table service.
Service with a smile?
B No complaints, but not a lot of warmth.
H Nice enough.
Would you take your friends?
B Not their cup of tea, really.
H Probably not, there's not enough room for a proper chat.
Rating for a dating?
B Too low for zero.
H The lack of space would make me nervous.
Tip?
B Nope.
H No.
Change one thing?
B The furniture. Or, otherwise, at least one vertebra.
H A handle on the coffee cup.
Going back?
B Can't see it happening.
H Probably not. Anyone taller than Bilbo Baggins beware, you'll feel like you're taking up too much room just by being there.
Compare and Contrast
The pros and cons of Federal.
In Pictures
On Google Images
In Depth
B So, hundreds - thousands - of bars in Madrid. After 20 years we're still working out a guide. Ready? A sample;
Good news is, unlike some places, you won't spend your cat's inheritance. Prices are OK, and the drinks are good. The cafe con leche - we worry that we could award points for a menu in Spanish - is pleasingly creamy. A slice of warmed-up banana loaf with coffee butter was tasty, but on the small side. The glass of water was a welcome detail and metal serving trays are a stylish touch. We couldn't work out that mantequilla del café. Brownish, it didn't taste of coffee. Maybe it was just butter, added to moisten up the cake.
The decor's as you'd expect. Distressed walls, artfully chipped and peely paint, obscure North American lifestyle magazines and lots of tiny furniture, like there was a Black Friday sale in the Ikea children's department. Fitting in perfectly, some shelves appear to also be seating, but some of that seating appears to also be table space. I'm not sure I'd want to sit - or put coffee and cake - where previous customers had their shoes.
HK Hola Coffee is one of the latest places in the area serving decent coffee with fresh milk, or a non-dairy alternative. And in line with these other cafes, your desire for upmarket coffee beans will be pitted against your willingness to casually perform acts of back-bending contortion as you navigate how to sit on rubbish furniture. I fear this trend of late will soon be sending scores of oblivious coffee-lovers to the chiropractor's. Perhaps the coffee industry is in league with the yoga industry (come to think of it, there IS a yoga studio on the same street.) Or perhaps making the seating as small and precarious as possible is a tactic to deter some of the mac users I so enjoy ranting about. But really, is a chair with four legs too much to ask for?
The coffee is good, though the Americano could be stronger. The banana bread is, happily, banana bread and not just bizcocho, though in danger of being a bit dry, and far too small to share.
B Perhaps the tripod stools are there as a subtle reminder of how fresh the milk is. And we all know why milking stools only have three legs, do we not?
Basics
Location
On the net
Per Person
Coffee and a piece of cake to share €3-4
In Short
B and HK took a trip. The verdict?
Hopes?
B See how the other half get their java jive.
H A nice cup of coffee.
Reality?
B Decent drink, compact cake.
H Mild backache.
First Impressions?
B A nice hubbub - in Spanish!
H Busy, small, plenty of round specs.
USP?
B The usual caffeine suspects in a post-industrial setting.
H The novelty of good coffee is still wearing off.
The food in three words?
B Not that big.
H Too small.
Can they get the staff?
B Plenty of people on hand.
H Initially confusing as to whether there was table service.
Service with a smile?
B No complaints, but not a lot of warmth.
H Nice enough.
Would you take your friends?
B Not their cup of tea, really.
H Probably not, there's not enough room for a proper chat.
Rating for a dating?
B Too low for zero.
H The lack of space would make me nervous.
Tip?
B Nope.
H No.
Change one thing?
B The furniture. Or, otherwise, at least one vertebra.
H A handle on the coffee cup.
Going back?
B Can't see it happening.
H Probably not. Anyone taller than Bilbo Baggins beware, you'll feel like you're taking up too much room just by being there.
Compare and Contrast
The pros and cons of Federal.
In Pictures
On Google Images
In Depth
B So, hundreds - thousands - of bars in Madrid. After 20 years we're still working out a guide. Ready? A sample;
- D for Default Madrid. Bonus points for toast done a la plancha, pressed down with plates.
- S for Scuzzy. These are Defaults fallen on hard times. See; feet sticking to the floor (S4); saucer sticking (S3) to the stainless steel bar (S1+); ants (S5); or cockroaches (S...well, pick a number) on the counter.
- P for Post-scuzzy. Re-opened Scuzzies. The staff tattoo quotient is infinitely higher and the threat of avocado toast hangs, like the finest Madrid smogs, heavy in the air.
- N for Neo-bars. Re- or de-decorated to within an inch of their lives, probably serving Spanish style coffee. Furniture freqently designed for smurfs. Chai lattes almost inevitable.
- Y for why bother being in Madrid at all? Bars that could be anywhere. Menus from P and N, lacking local colour. Count the Apple Macs.
Good news is, unlike some places, you won't spend your cat's inheritance. Prices are OK, and the drinks are good. The cafe con leche - we worry that we could award points for a menu in Spanish - is pleasingly creamy. A slice of warmed-up banana loaf with coffee butter was tasty, but on the small side. The glass of water was a welcome detail and metal serving trays are a stylish touch. We couldn't work out that mantequilla del café. Brownish, it didn't taste of coffee. Maybe it was just butter, added to moisten up the cake.
The decor's as you'd expect. Distressed walls, artfully chipped and peely paint, obscure North American lifestyle magazines and lots of tiny furniture, like there was a Black Friday sale in the Ikea children's department. Fitting in perfectly, some shelves appear to also be seating, but some of that seating appears to also be table space. I'm not sure I'd want to sit - or put coffee and cake - where previous customers had their shoes.
HK Hola Coffee is one of the latest places in the area serving decent coffee with fresh milk, or a non-dairy alternative. And in line with these other cafes, your desire for upmarket coffee beans will be pitted against your willingness to casually perform acts of back-bending contortion as you navigate how to sit on rubbish furniture. I fear this trend of late will soon be sending scores of oblivious coffee-lovers to the chiropractor's. Perhaps the coffee industry is in league with the yoga industry (come to think of it, there IS a yoga studio on the same street.) Or perhaps making the seating as small and precarious as possible is a tactic to deter some of the mac users I so enjoy ranting about. But really, is a chair with four legs too much to ask for?
The coffee is good, though the Americano could be stronger. The banana bread is, happily, banana bread and not just bizcocho, though in danger of being a bit dry, and far too small to share.
B Perhaps the tripod stools are there as a subtle reminder of how fresh the milk is. And we all know why milking stools only have three legs, do we not?