Dinner at Lamian by Soy Kitchen

Drills and Thrills

Basics
€€€€
http://lamianconcept.com/
Location

Per Person
Six dishes shared between 2, 1 dessert, 5 beers, sake
Gratis: House sake
€42 each

In not so many words
Hopes? Does the menu live up to the creative promise it suggests?
Firs Impressions? It's a bit chilly. And smells a bit of...cleaning products. Well, it is just opening time, but...
A USP? A chef with a very clear vision.
The food in three words? Tasty, but pricey.
Can they get the staff? Spanish front of house, Chinese behind the scenes.
Service with a smile? Yep. Amiable, efficient and keen to help and explain, if not always fully informed.
Would you take your friends? As long as they're omnivorous or pre-informed, yes.
Rating for a dating? Thinking of date 1? You might not make date 2. Once you know each others' culinary expectations, give it a go. Chilli crabs require serious finger action, so think like a scout.
Tip? Thanks to that gratis sake, yes.
If you could change one thing, what would it be? Get a grip on the front-of-house, please!
Going back? Yes. But this visit felt like a fairly steep learning curve. Now we know how to play it.

In not so few words
Right then. Let's deal with the obvious. Restaurants which insist on giving themselves a byline, crediting themselves to a phrase or author, start at a disadvantage, for me. First, as often as not that phrase-cum-name, as often as not in English, as often as not makes very little sense. Second, it's heading, at warp factor 7, toward the planet Trying Too Hard.  I just find myself thinking, "Why all those syllables? Are you after an impact? And if so, on whom? Sorry lads, you can call me Shania.

So Lamian(...concept?) by Soy Kitchen? Thank goodness a confusingly inconsistent name, trying too hard to be a brand, is the end of the fogginess in the vision, because the food couldn't be much better focused and is, on the whole, very good indeed.

Initial drinks were our mistake. Two beers ordered. Two Heinekens turned up. Gawd. Always specify a name if you want to be sure to avoid the green-badged peril. We switched to some Czech-brewed Asahi at the first opportunity.

The menu is fun. A plastic cardy thing with little windows to read the dishes through. Advice from the staff was 5 or 6 would be a wise number for two of us. Averaging €10 each, planning is therefore advised. Let's take a stroll through the terrific range of dishes we got to try, shall we?

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A cevichéed lubina/bass with added spice was rather less limey than the Peruvian place just across the square does it, but started things off very nicely, looked fantastic and thinking back, did set the tone for what was to come very well.

Languoustine red curry was sweet rather than seriously spicy but had a properly deep flavour. Points for plural fresh herbs, with some basil in there, awarded without hesitation. Two biscuity crackers looked like they'd wandered in from my mum's Christmas cheeseboard, but helped a bit with the terrific curry sauce that threatened to be lost with no rice, noodles or similar to let us make the most of it.

A crispy-chicken-in-beer dish had great flavour and deep-fried crispy chilli, and was the leader until a wonderful pork-in-mustard dish that was the highlight of the whole affair appeared. It had us spontaneously blimeying! at it. Certainly my first asiatic mustard experience, the best kind of fusion food, I guess, with flavours coming from different directions - East and West - and readily enhacing each other. It's recommended.

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Chilli crabs were very peanutty and soft, and, again, presented quite beautifully. Easy to eat, but obviously these required a lot of handling, so a bowl of lemon and coriander water would have been much more arresting and in keeping than yer standard plastic-wrapped marisqueria mini wetwipe. One fusion choice I'd defuse.

Only one dish really misfired for us. If I was going to serve a spicy acidy chilli-con-carne style oriental-inspired picadillo, the one thing I'd probably not stick it on top of is a triangle of deepfried tofu. I respect the creative try, but the wodges were too big to chopstick, too floppy to pick up. And a meat-lead tofu dish sounds exactly like it tasted. Confused. It's a filling looking for a nem, I think.

One dessert sufficed. Sesame covered balls and some acidy blueberry icecream, if the garnish was anything to go by. Not huge in size, but refreshing, light and pleasingly Western-lead with Eastern influence, making a nice contrast to the savoury courses.

V-minded diners will struggle a bit, as only two or three dishes are entirely meat or fish free, so if you're sharing, think like a scout. A veg-lead ramen and a bao or two would help things along, perhaps.

A rather pretty jar of dry sake came in a €5.50. The gratis house sake had more bite to it.

Good stuff, then. Some of the food is heading toward Michelin levels of flavour intensity, if not - yet - presentation.  We missed something - anything - to let us make the most of all those terrific sauces too. These dishes deserve to have their plates and slates wiped clean. Rice would be nice. The lack of noodle could needle.

However, when it comes to offering an experience, which that brand-byline surely aspires to, there were issues we simply can't ignore. Not just minor headaches, but a potentially migraine-inducing one.

So, pop pickers. let's run through today's front-of-house top five rhetorical questions.

At 5. Should you have some kind of screen in front of the front door in January to reduce the icy blasts? Points awarded for having a fan heater on, though. It helped. So, to number 4. Do you take a booking, then give people who've come in later with no booking a better - warmer! - table than people who booked?

Now, point 3. If you are going to do number 4, is it a good idea to have that chat, which makes clear that returning customers get better treatment than first-timers, right in front of the aforementioned pre-bookers? A golden oldie is at 2. Is setting a time limit such a good idea when, by the time it arrives, more than half your tables are still unoccupied?

And coming in at number 1, a real scorcher. Is it really a smart move to get a bloke with a power drill in and have him start hammering away at some tiling at 9pm on a Friday night?

None of that little lot ruined the experience, thanks to some top-notch food and personable service. But they held us back from being properly wowed and seriously bowled over. You know what teacher would say, don't you? Good effort, but...

Still, the good heavily outweighs the to work on. And now we know the score, we'll plan accordingly for another visit. With a bit of polish, the place can truly shine and awards could await. Just do that DIY before the punters turn up.

You know the drill.